Saturday, December 30, 2006

:P coffee

This is something I wrote for a massive chain email, but it fits in just as well here.

I have abandoned my old ways, and yet I search, for the perfect sig, the true sig, the tag the world could not give me. Coffee was not enough. :P was not enough. Coffee :P was not enough. For those of you who know what coffee :P meant to me, you are problably nodding and laughing. To those of you who know coffee :P as the drink you are forbidden from because of your standards, I laugh at the irony. For those of you who think I am crazy, I am not, just laughing my head off. :P was at least decent. Playful, sick, yes (true, it is the hotkey on msn messenger for a green-faced smiley with a thermometer sticking out of the mouth), but especially reminding me of a lovable dog.

:P
See how innocent? Man's best friend...haha. I've given up now on any chance of a reasonable sig. Perhaps my blog, stealthymatt.blogspot.com. That could work. Half the people ignore sites anyways. Yes, I say, this will have to work.

I have left all forms of coffee :P for the time being. I will come back at a future date in time. Perhaps when the world is ready.

Holy Bushido!

It appears this blog has now accumulated an amassing 36 or so posts. If we were in base 5, that would be 60 posts, with base 3 it would be an amazing 90 posts, and if we were in base 2,

120 posts!!

er um...

120 posts!!

uh oh...these are the signs. It always starts like this. First the text size goes awry and then it starts getting emotional.

From these signs, it appears this blog is going through puberty.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Rambling Topic of now: Pie...Pie!

The Rambling Topic of Now (Also known as TRTON or RTN if you only count those important words) is pie. Not pie. It's like a pirate kind of pie.

"Argh!! Pie!!" -Sinbad.

This piratish pie has a long and unusual history, but I don't want to get into that right now. The important thing is that it's pirate pie. You won't see pirate pie on any usual kind of festive family Thanksgiving Dinner with chicken and turkey and pie and all that stuff. This isn't that kind of pie. This is pirate pie--

"Argh!! Pie!!" -Sinbad.

--Now pirates have been known for all types of devilrish plundering and fraud and weird religious persons interpretations and stuff, but pirates also like pie. They have their own recipies.

Piratish Pie

Ingredients:

a chewed off arm
one parrot (adds color)
tropical fruits and stuff
plentiful amouns of rum

Instructions:
put in small crate and attach to anchor. Let rest at ocean floor for three days, retrieving every few hours. after three days it should be salty enough. Eat with biscuits.

"Argh!! I want Pie!!" -Sinbad.

Monday, November 20, 2006

just why I am stealthy

okay...wait for it...be careful, you might miss it...

you missed it.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Extreme Theater

I am at extreme theater right now. Hm. I am writing about a guy who relives his life through dance. It's pretty intense.

Matt wishes he could be as intense as me. Ha. Good luck with that. He has as much chance of out-intensifying me as a chainsaw has of taking on the entire North Korean army.

Okay, maybe that's a bas example. He has as much chance of out-intensifying me as a ping-pong ball has of stopping a train full of gold. Ha.

Stealthymatt. I don't know how stealthy he is. He's like the opposite of stealthy. He is nonstealthy. Nonstealth to the extreme. Unstealth. His stealthlitude is almost negative. He is quite unstealthlitudinous. He is so unstealthlitudinous that he cannot so much as sneak around a dark room wearing black in the fog because he is so unstealthlitudinous that he wouldn't be able to stealthlitudinously be stealthlitudinous. Haha. Perhaps I should go to bed.

Stealthymatt should just go away and learn some ultimate ninja skills of stealthlitude, because right now he is tripping people in the italian bistro omega sixty.

I'm out.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Curse you!!!

You have revealed the location of my secret lair!

Bad matt! BAD!!!

No donut!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

er...

er...um a real life...er... situation. there are strange girls out in the far outer reaches of nowhere.

I also have now found wolfman's ultra secret digital hideout. It's called wolfman's secret corner of DOOM. Must fill with poetry and philosophy.

It's at wollfmanrec.blogspot.com

And another thing

What was the inspiration for the "girls are lame" speech?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Hmph.

I draw on the experience of friends.







...




Tarzan and I go way back.


>_>
<_<
>_>

*runs and hides*

Monday, November 13, 2006

huh?

Since when have you had experience with any of this?

When hiding in the forest did you find and kidnap some runaway?

You're reminding me of a wolfish Tarzan. Rick the wolfish Tarzan.

"Watch out for that tree!!! *thud*"

there is no sheep level

Hahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahaha
hahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha



I will control this entire blog soon enough. Until then, I shall be content with merely controlling

YOUR SOUL!!!!!! Bwa hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!


Um... disregard that outburst. I shall hide now.

Regarding your post concerning the lameness of said girls (they being members of that society which is mostly made up of females) I say this:

I agree.

Yes, for once I am in complete concordance with something my prisoner-- I mean good friend has to say.

I have my own message.


*whips out guitar*

GIRLS DON'T LIKE BOYS GIRLS LIKE CARS AND MONEY!!!!!!

BOYS WILL LAUGH AT GIRLS WHEN THEY'RE NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!

*puts away guitar*

If girls liked boys they wouldn't ask that dreaded and unanswerable question:

"Does this make me look fat?"

I will explain their reasoning here, listed after the possible responses:

"Yes": they think "I'm fat. Suicide is my only hope."

"No": they think "He's lying. I'm fat. Suicide is my only hope."

"I love you.": they think "He's avoiding the question. I'm fat. Suicide is my only hope."

*run and hide*: they think "He has a problem with commitment. It must be me. I'm fat. Suicide is my only hope."

You see?

:P crap.

Crap. He's gotten into the title again.

...The Rise of Rambling. Interesting. I wonder what he's planning next...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

:P why every girl is lame.

Okay, this is sort of a sidetract from the current war with Rick the wolfman (currently under the alias of wolfmanrec), but every girl is lame.

They just are. They can only like you when you don't know about it. Us guys, on the other hand, usually don't start liking them until we've found out they like us. This clash may be responsible for the large increase in divorce. But us guys are sensible. Why like someone who we don't even have a chance with? The ultimate goal is to go out with them, isn't it?

But if you've ever been to Pluto (or is it Mars?), you might have noticed a huge contrast in opinion. Liking someone is secret. No one wants to deal with the awkwardness and responsibility of having someone know you like them (what would you do, anyways?), it's just too much responsibility. The pretend boyfriend is much better for them than the real enchilada. Or if you're from france, maybe you'd say "la crepe."

The point is, they think they can describe us in words like crepe and enchilada, as if we were some kind of overpriced entree. Or a cheap fish taco. Whichever you choose.

To this, I just have one thing to say. This crab isn't vouching for dinner tonight. In fact, he's running. Running far away. Scuttling, actually (him being a crab). Scuttling sideways with an awkward scuttle.

My aunt just walked in and started laughing when she saw "Nerd Humor" on the title. stupid Rick. idiot.

I'm sick of this crap. Techies better take over the world someday. It's our only chance :P

"Techies better take over the world someday, it's our only chance :P" -wise words (and a cool smiley face) from I (me).

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

...

...crap. He's gotten into the title again.

This time it's receptively called Nerd Humor. Why the crap Nerd Humor? Are we such idiots that we create a blog for such a small, unique, and selective audience as that?
I mean...most people aren't nerds, right?
At least...most people randomly surfing blogs aren't. I think. If I was the brilliant techie I know exists in my inner soul, I would make a vote thing where people would click one of three options:

Yes, most people are sadly nerds.

No, most of us are respectable adults.

Both, most people think we're respectable adults, but they don't know what kind of blogs we read...

This post will be finished a later period in time.

Until then...*silence*

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Ha! I wouldn't help you even if I did--


Uh...


I mean... "Even though I know how".


Um........

oops.

"oops." -me

""oops."-me"-me

Bwa ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Surrender while you still can, foolish mortal!

("Too late!" -Clue)

I am your singing telegram!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

additional request

I'm also looking for some fricking awesome nerd techie who can make this blog look fricking awesome. And no, Colin, you've done enough harm.

:P

I'm going low. I'm asking the help of the common people. To help them know that I'm asking their common help, I'll post some random keywords so they come up on the search engine (I know, low.)

revolution
war on terror
patriotism
voting
election
Bush
stupid
racism
prejudice
writing
stone
mining
gas prices
stock
croquet
tennis
football
Israel
Islam
weather
philosophy
poetry
adoption
moral
morals
lack of morals
gay
gay rights
gay prejudice
etc. (most of these subjects are heated enough already)

Monday, October 30, 2006

:P

I'm sick of this crap. People should get their own fricking blogs.

From now on I'm taking my anger out on the world. Beware for your blogs. I will have my revenge. There is no longer any choice.

They have taken away my freedom, my family, my future children, my religion, my life...and my blog!

(sniff) that's like a metaphor. the kind of metaphor that swalloes you up in your worst nightmares and tells you that you're not worth it! That the freedom of speech includes hacking into the blogs of fragile men...

Again, time for some random quotes.

"Oh, ye people, Argh!" -Sinbad the Sailor (I've been getting rather fond of that one.)

"Crap." - Galaxia IV, Return to the home of Shibsghwld.

"Zugh-Zugh." - Most of us should be nerdy enough to get that one. Think peon.

"I swear if you don't tell me the secret I'll turn these mindless aliens into packets of ketchup!"
-some random soap opera.

"I'm tired." -no one knows.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ha. Don't we all love blog editing.

My Blog

This blog is now open for military takeover.

If no one (foolishly) attempts to take over the blog militarily, I shall retain control. (duh)

If Matt attempts to militarilatistically overtake the governmental processes of the blog which was so formerly Wolfman's which was so formerly Matt's who was so formerly in control who is now in Africa on the outskirts of Nowhere, I shall... I don't really know. Hmmmm........



Maybe I'll just post guards.



(This guy is my general. He's here to make sure my forces don't suck.)








I have tanks too.


See?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Crap

Crap. He's gotten into the title.

I had known this would happen eventually...

Crap. He's gotten into the title.

This isn't even my blog any more. It's his. Or...it is mine, it just says that it's his.

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

--guess.

Dangit. So I guess it is his blog. but there was a time when it was not his...when the land of internet blogging (including the far outer reaches of nowhere) was not all completely under the control of this...

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

--guess again.

Crap. So I guess it wasn't ever my blog. But I still posted on it...

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

--if you haven't figured out this joke yet I suggest getting medical help.

Crap. He's gotten into the title.

He's gotten into the title. Crap.

Crap. He's gotten into the title. Crap.

Crap.

He's gotten into the title.

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

--...(no comment)...
My evil plot is working! VICTORY SHALL BE MINE!!!


As for that last post, allow me to explain. I have Matt concealed in the faraway reaches of Nowhere, where the Gargantuan Termites of Glab are guarding him from the Dragons of Eternity.


...


I mean, he's safe. I think he's safe. I know I think he's safe at home. I think I know I think he's somewhere around here. I think you know you know I think he's known for knowing about thoughts that I think I think. So you see, he really only thinks he knows you know you know I think I know I think you think you know I know you think he's gone. Our badness will be the downfall of your goodness. Good bad bad, good good good, bad bad bad bad bad bad good good baddy bad.

Confusion. It works for the IRS (and the Bush administration)(and lawyers)(and any other political group) and it can work for you too. In conclusion, I conclude with the conclusion of the concluding conclusion. Concluded.

Monday, October 23, 2006

:P (beware)

It seems apparent that I have not posted for some time now. It seems apparent to the more aware reader that I have not posted since October 19th. It seems apparent to the even more aware reader that I am lying and I have not actually posted since October 17th. It seems apparent to the large majority of you that I will problably not tell you the truth, and therefore you might as well check for yourselves. So that's said and done.

It still seems apparent that I have not posted for some time now. What, you say? I have been busy with school? Hahaha...I wish. I haven't even been at school for several weeks.
You see, this wolfmanrec (for those of you who are still wondering what the rec was, you're not the first) has been keeping me away. Far away. For those of you who...are good at guessing might realize this might not even be me posting. I'm in Africa. There's no internet in Africa. Or at least not in most places in Africa. I wouldn't know.
But this wolfmanrec does. And that's why he sent me there. To keep me from harm. Where I couldn't post at all. So you see this is wolfmanrec talking. It's not me. uhh...I mean it is me. It's just not me.

"Right..." -- Cronk

But I guess it could be me. I mean...maybe I escaped from Africa and now I' m somewhere with an internet and I want wolfmanrec to think it was him.

Never mind, that doesn't make any sense.

Uhh...so like...(blank stares).

Dangit. Now he's trying to stop me from thinking. This wolfmanrec is like a writers block.

Scratch that; he's like a fricking stone. A heavy stone. Like a stoned stone. A wolfmanrec stone. Okay I'll stop.

I just don't really have any motivation any more. Like...this wolfman has completely made this blog run downhill. It's not going anywhere.
In fact, it's going nowhere. Nowhere at all, and it's heading straight for the middle. The middle of nowhere. Scratch that, he's heading towards the far outer savage reaches of nowhere. Like into the Outer Beyond of nowhere. (over the cliffs on Duuzerroff and across the Sea of Gizzzzz, off the big waterfall, past sign reading: "End of World, Entrance to Nowhere" etc.) But even farther than that. Across......nowhere until you get to the middle...until you get to the edge...until you get to like the outer beyond.
I think I've made my point.

This blog is going over large mountains and bumpy ravines (however the expression goes) to get to nowhere.

What, you say? Why the crap do we want to go nowhere? THAT'S THE POINT!!!




Wednesday, October 18, 2006

:P

This keeps reminding me of that song..."Be every color of the rainbow..." ew. :P

I am the dark one

lol not really. Just Legion. >_>

Fear me.

My New Blog

Hey, um, everyone, I'm making a new blog for stuff that's worth talking about.

It will be called For Those of Us that Are Smart, and it's site will be at...

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..." -wolfmanrec.

Dangit. He got me.

Revenge

Victory shall be mine.

Nah... the "rec" stands for "records". Duh. :P


um.... I do agree that we'll never talk about anything important again, though. That is definitely true. Coffee. :P

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

my worst fears.

uh oh. I was fearing this. like a bad nightmare. like that time I had taken two cookies on grandparents day and I knew everyone knew...even if they didn't know. they knew in their hearts. or their heart. whichever.

the point is that i've been fearing this for a long time. what, you say? well, did you read the last post?
For some time now this wolfmanrec (what's with the rec anyways?) has been chasing me. trying to find someway into my blog and pervert it. make it full of spam like

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

etc. and random statements like coffee that let the rest of the
world think we drink it every morning.

As of late, I am feeling this will be my last post before this wolfmanrec takes me over entirely. what once used to be abstract philosophy that no one read now has turned into what I call *humor* spam and random statements (most regardless of the reader's young and tender age) that gets sent on huge fwds that people across the world read.


"Oh ye people, Arghh!!" -Sinbad the Sailor

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

-the one who's name we do not speak (except when we
have to) this..........this..........(continuous ...)... man. or wolf. or wolf man. or wolf man rec. or man named Rick that's a wolf. Wolfman named Rick. wolfmanRick. Rick the wolfman. whatever you choose to call him.
This is for some strange reason reminding me of a Strongbad email. Except I'm the good one, and Rick the wolf is the bad. I'm like the strong...he's the bad. very bad. evil. like cheese on brocolli for dinner when you're starving. wolfmanRick bad.

And so, in conclusion, although the blog might continue (with a large raise in readers), it is now apparent that we will never talk about something important again unless it has to do with coffee. How sad. I'm bauling my tears out. or rather bauling my eyes out. I'm going blind. Luckily I can still type without looking. That gives me a few seconds. How about some more quotes.

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......" wolfmanrec

If you've read this much (few people do) I'm already dead. You might see me at school, but my soul is gone. He took it.

"hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......" wolfmanrec.

"ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!" my last words.

"coffee :P" my last words and expression.

Hey there

This is me. Me is typing. Me me me me me me me...


coffee :P

Don't you hate it when you type something wrong again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again?

I do.


... coffee :P

Why I prooved my History Paper was the aforementioned...

Because I can. Because somethings...somethings are meant to be done.

I was trying to save you. Save you from writing a paper like that. You don't know what it's like, writing a paper that's politically incorrect, etc. It sucks. It really sucks.

Learn from the man who banged his head on the street because it felt good when he stopped. Learn.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Why My History Paper Was Politically Incorrect

In summary, the idea Hitler taking over Germany and Menes taking control of Egypt people just won't accept, no matter in what sense I'm saying it. Also, any comments about F.D.R. are unacceptable.
All of these things might seem obvious, to a person other than myself. But, in my unaware state of mind, I commited both felons simultaneously in one 3 page essay.
Incredible.

What was I thinking? I was problably as crazy as that person who entitled their To Kill a Mockingbird paper "To Kill a Blue Jay". (oops, that was me too).

Regardless of all this, what I learned from this essay is that although I'm a "good thinker", sometimes thinking beyond the grounds of common sense (esp. in a paper that will be read and graded by a teacher) should be best to be avoided.
But it wasn't really that I wasn't using common sense. It's just that my common sense wasn't a common sense of common sense to anyone else. So maybe having common sense is having the common sense that's commonly sensed by everyone else. This leads us all to conformism.
The one thing I did get right is that internet essays suck. But maybe my essay would have been better if it had stayed an internet essay. oh well :D haha.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Eragon: continued

Ya..., as for the commercial, it was pretty bad. It was like a cross between the old National Geographic special film things on Narnia and a saturday morning cartoon.
And even on a cartoon basis of critique, it still sucked. Ok, maybe it could have passed for a cartoon. But even close to LotR? Ya right.
There's no way a 16-year old fantasy can compete with the legacy of LotR.

So I guess it comes out December 15th.

I problably won't end up going to it; I haven't even seen Pirates 2 yet. I'm still waiting to see the last half of the Village (btw, that and Signs were both awesome movies, I should post about them).
Also, their advertisement site hasn't updated in the last couple weeks at least; and I would be it doesn't anymore. So much for online advertiseing. So much for advertising; I haven't even seen the commercial on t.v. yet. oh well, I dont' watch that much t.v. anyways.

Egyptian Good/Bad Essays

Here are links to both good Egyptian essays and examples of what not to write like. Please understand I am using these as examples, not so you can plagerize.

Good Essays:

http://nefertiti.iwebland.com/economy/ : an easier to understand essay but still with lots of interesting facts and complicated diagrams.

http://members.tripod.com/~sondmor/index-10.html : a much more advanced essay written by Morris Silver from the Economics Department of the City College of New York. This covers:
Egypt's Acquisition of Foreign Goods (and Labor-Power) Mainly in the Old Kingdom

The site here also has many more essays on ancient civilizations.

Bad Essays:

http://www.ccds.charlotte.nc.us/History/Egypt/04/haup/hauptfuhrer.htm

http://www.riverschool.org/students/work/culture.e.econ.htm

I classified these essays as bad essays because the points were obvious and the writer was boring, without a developed writing voice. For example the riverschool essay (which btw was written by a student) is titled: Ancient Egyptian Economy, and starts: There are many aspects to the Ancient Egyptian economy.

You understand what I mean by boring?

-Matt

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Folk Tales

Ok, so what makes a good folk tale? This is a topic I'm sort of tentative with writing about because it seems to general and abstract. So let's use some concrete examples.
Cinderella: ok I could give a general summary of this, but it would problably be more towards the summary part (like Girl Marries Prince Charming) rather than helping me get to where I would like to go.
Thing about Cinderella is that it's a classic. I can say Pretty common girl marries charming Prince and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Well, at least you'll get the gist of things. Some about Cinderella just sticks. The instant you hear the story you can start comparing everything to it by its classic viewpoint: "Life is happy if you're good."
But some folk tales (mostly foreign) seem much different that this. I don't have any right off the top of my head, but they seem more to be along the lines of "We are all subject to the power of the Gods/nature/whatever else and therefore we must do our best within our small limitations".
This is a more interesting viewpoint, and exists more withing the Greek way of thinking. We are threads on a tapestry...that sort of style.
So I could go into more different types of folk tales, but those are the ones that seem most obvious to me now. So what is so great about these folk tales.
I think the main thing is that they give us a zeitgeist that can say more about a certain cultures than almost anything else. Just telling a story that didn't even likely happen to a historical person in the civilization gives us the kind of idea for how they thought.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Eragon: Movie Premier

Ok I don't have the site right now (I'll problably add it as a comment), but for those of you who don't know the first premiers of Eragon (the movie) have come out, and I though they sucked pretty bad.
Costumes were horrible. Actors were okay. Dialogue was horrible. Special effects were horrible, and the movie seemed fake. Saphira's roar of flames reminded me of that Pokemon nintendo game where there's a bad animation of Charzard blowing some fake flame and the crowd reacting.
And armour on a dragon? I can understand some chain mail, but plate armour? How would it manuver?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Discussion Board

He (wolfmanrec) has taken over this post as well.....argh!!